we all have that place, this is mine.

     My mother’s constant nagging. Her complaints of how "school is easy, and l do nothing." My teacher’s endless amounts of work, thinking they’re the only honors class l have, or class at all. My coach’s obsession with fitness, and conditioning. My aching body telling me l need to slow down. The physical and mental pain is too much. The frustration builds up, and l'm ready to explode. My mind is no longer whole. It's scrambled in all directions, moving away from me as if l'm tainted.
  Sleeping would be too easy. Closing my mind and falling into a bliss of false emotions. Instead l stay awake. My iPod is my baby, l take her with me everywhere. When l feel like this she is who l go straight to. l grab her, a jacket, and sometimes a book. Running down the stairs in my mixed emotions make my steps sound like thunder, alerting everyone l'm on the way, and in a rush. "Where are you going? Mom, she's leaving!" This sentence holds no importance to me. I continue opening the door. As l hear my mother’s nagging voice asking where am l going l close the door. l know she won't fallow.
    The fresh air hits my face, chilling my body. I put on my jacket, plug my baby into my mind, and walk. Generally l don't know where l'm going. I just walk. Walk till my feet hurt. As long as l got my baby, l'll be fine.  Most times l lead myself to the park. Finding the furthest spot from civilization. I then lay down, carefully bending my body so that l can sit without discomfort. I take out my baby and lay her down inside my already kicked off K-Swiss.
  Criss-cross- apple-sauce, most comfortable position. I pull up my hoodie, close my eyes and relax. Being between the beautiful blue sky and the glossy green grass makes me feel safe. Safe enough to let a tear shed. Once l'm done, l lay down. Grab my iPod, find a soothing song and blast it. I hear nothing but the music of my favorite bands. The voices of doubt, anger, obsession, and fear are gone.
  After sitting for nearly two hours l get up to walk home. I put my constricting shoes back on, flip through my songs for a "hardcore rock" song and walk home, leaving my hoodie up. I feel fresh, renewed. As I walk l notice things l hadn't before. Like how the laughter of a little girl is magical. How the little boy at the corner is trying so desperately to dunk a ball, and even though he can't make it he doesn't give up. Then l turn the corner and l see my family. There's a million kids screaming in joy in front of my house. As l approach they all scream my name followed by "Are you ok?"
  My "happy place" doesn't bring me happiness, it simply reminds me of the happiness l already had. The calmness of the earth brings me back to sanity. My mind rushes to get back together. Refocusing on the important things. Just as it does l realized how much work l have, but l don't explode this time. My baby and the world did its job. All is calm.
For now.

Bellwork. Relate to Human Trafficking.

            They lost focus for a second. She waited first, her mind wasn't sure of what to do. They're smarter, faster, and capable of anything. Would she make it? Would they shoot her down? What if she tripped? Finally she decided to go for it. lf anything there were only two real options. They catch her and bring her back to this hell, or they kill her and she's free, in a sense. So she runs. Her feet are lagging behind her legs. Her arms swaying from front to back. The cold breeze hitting her face, telling her to keep going. Her tears only lasting a second before being dried. She's chocking on the dust she's creating. She must carry on. Her mind is nearly empty. All she sees is a black paper with the words in white reading "RUN!" She's running. Running. Running.

            The men are not far behind. 10 mintues if at most. She dares not turn to look back at them. If she does there's room for error. She keeps her head down, only looking up every few yards. The men are closing in on her. One on the right, another on the left. "RUN!" She sees it again. "RUN!" Again, it appears. "Ahhhhhhh!" A scream comes from her mouth. She's down. And the men have paused.

            She was in the hands of a woman. A beautiful woman. This woman must have have been god, she thought. The men retreated, quickly. The woman took her by the hand and walked her to a van. The woman strapped her in and then got into the fromt seat and they drove away. The girls legs were tired. Her face felt beaten from the wind. Her eyes tired from the tears.She was to tired from the run to care. She wanted to care, but didn't. Her eye lids became heavy and they closed.

           The bed was soft. Clean. She smelled the air, it was clean. Her room was clean. She walked out the door and into beauiful mid-day. The sign had dissapeared. A new one came. "Peace."

Trip to Japan

“I can’t wait for this weekend! It’s gonna be so amazingly awesome.”   
“Yea.” “Can you believe it? Japan!” 
“Yea.” Her questions keep coming and all I could bring myself to say was yea.  They questions didn’t stop till me crossed the parking lot, bought tickets, and entered the movie. As the lights dimmed her question faded. Thank goodness.

“Dude, I hate that the bad guy always loses.” 
“What do you mean, Savannah? The bad guys lose on ‘cause they’re the bad guy.” She said with an playful tone. 
“Yea, but, you don’t know why they are the way they are. Maybe their mum made them that way. Or.. I don’t know. But it would be nice for them to win for a change.” 
“Whatever. Let’s go.” She pulled me by the arm and we left.

How am I going to tell her she’s not going? God!
“How was the movie, Savannah?” My mum asked.

 “I didn’t tell her mum. I feel horrible.”

“Well, Savannah, you’re gonna have to do it. You can’t take her and Jasmine. It’s impossible.”

“I know. I wish I could.”

“Get the phone, Mija.”

“Ok.” After answering it and talking to Tori I decide it’s time to tell her that she’s not going. “Mum , I’m going to webcam with Tori.”

“Ok, you better tell her! No more hiding.” She said with a smile.

“Hey. Tori. I-“ Before I could tell her she cut me off. 
 “I’m so excited to go to Japan. Look I bought up both really awesome Japanese bags!” Then she lifted up two of the most gorgeous bags ever. And it just slipped out. 
Well rather, ran out. “You’re not going, Tori. I’m sorry.” Then I shut the session and sat there in silence. What did I do. Dang.

“Savannah! Hey! Wait up!”
Oh, my, gosh.  “Hey, Tori. Umm, what’s up? Listen I’m sorry.”

 “It’s OK. I understand. You can’t take me and Jasmine.”

“How did you know I was taking Jasmine?”

“Well, she told me. Actually I knew for a while. I just wanted to see how long it would take you to tell me.” She said with the worlds hugest smile. “I’m seriously OK with it. We haven’t seen her in over 3 years. I understand why you would take her. I just feel sorry for her.”

“Why?”

                “Because she will be in one of the most advanced, amazing places in the world” She said with her hands lifted in the air and bliss on her face, as she continued, “and have to see your ugly face everyday.” She finished with a little shrug.

                We both laughed and walked to class. “You’re such a jerk, Tori!”

                                               

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*Sorry the colors don't match. I couldn't find the color after I had exited the app. : ( *

What Is An Everyday Hero?

Who is a hero?
Definition is tough,
Even unrealistic,
Everyone tries, still.

A hero may be present,
Unknown, but present,
To be a hero is trying.
Expects nothing in return, but gives always.

Non-judgemental,
Honest,
Caring and compationate,
Someone who is always there,

For any one.

My have been inspiring in secrecy,
Hiding.
Acting as one is unnecessary, and a joke.

A hero,
May have come and gone,
But is remembered.

Meaningfull Song Lyric

Song: Breathe- Ryan Star

she's fine, most of the time
she takes her days with a smile
she moves like a dancer in lights
spinning around to the sound
sometimes she falls down 

breathe, just breathe
take the world off your shoulders
and put it on me
breathe, just breathe
let the life that you live
be all that you need 

she likes New York at night
she dreams of running away
shine on, bright like the sun
when even the sky turns gray
i need you to hear me say
i need you to hear me say

breathe, just breathe
take the world off your shoulders
and put it on me
breathe, just breathe
let the life that you live
be all that you need 

let go of the fear
let go of the doubt
let go of the ones
who to try to put you down
you're gonna be fine
don't hold it inside
if you hurt right now
then let it all come out

breathe, just breathe
take the world off your shoulders
and put it on me
breathe, just breathe
let the life that you live
be all that you need 

breathe, just breathe
take the world off your shoulders
and put it on me
breathe, just breathe
let the life that you can
be all that you need

Expressive Writing.

“The half draw curtain moved!” He said. Just as that sentence finished my mind began racing. What was he talking about? Nobody lives there. Nobody…. Would if they did? They’re going to leave us out here? She’ll find- NO! Yes, she will. She’s smart, and that house is dead. No, there’s people! They’re just…just..just scared. Do they think we are dangerous?  Could they smell the horrible sewage stench? Your onion perfume from your lack of showering? My awful tang of sweat and blood? The mascara smeared all over my face, no longer flattering my eyes. Could this add to their uncertainty? The mixture of mascara, eyeliner, and eye shadow now consumed my already horrible face. Glossy black splotches. Fudge! My cloths. I wouldn’t open the door for us either, lie, l would. Maybe. Maybe. Yes. Aww, man, my favorite shirt! A bright yellow now turned a dingy green. Great. Now I have a V-Neck too, how cliché. You can easily see the scars now. Thomas was worse. He looks disgusting. Blood everywhere. Man, I owe him my life. I wish they would let us in. Gosh! Just let him in, please. What’s the use? Don’t say that. Why? Where’s Thomas?

He’s still bleeding? So I fallow the blood, ok, where is this going? Eww, smoke. Tata? Stupid thought. It’s Thomas?  The building is in horrible condition. The walls burnt like my mums fries.  Where’s Thomas? “Thomas!” Why won’t he answer. The blood, Savannah, fallow the blood!

“Thom-“ What the hey? How did she get her? Who cares, more importantly why is she here? I miss my mum. What are they doing? Let him go! No, he didn’t do anything! It’s my fault! Dude, say it out loud. I can’t.

My mind isn’t connecting with my body. Every thing’s all wrong! If I didn’t go out, say those things, do those things we wouldn’t be here. Thomas would be in English, learning as he should be. No, he’s here. I’m so stupid sometime. I swear. “You gave my life direction, a game show love connect-“  SHUT UP, SAVANNAH! This isn’t a singing time. Ok that’s too long. I have to help! I have to!

Oh my god. What did I do?

“Savannah, why did you do that?” His question’s on repeat. So is my answer. “She hurt us.” She hurt us. She hurt him. She hurt me. SHE HURT US! I don’t regret it. C’mon, you know you do. No, no, I don’t. I wish she didn’t hurt us. She took my childhood! You let her. Why did you leave? Then expect nothing to happen when you called Thomas? Really? Really. I didn’t expect this. Him to come. He hates me. Hates you? You know that’s not true. I know.

                The smoke from the building is starting to become nothing. The smoke doesn’t choke my lungs anymore. Thomas does. “We should go.” The only words left to be said. But neither of us say it. You know this isn’t your fault, right? But it is! It really is. I should have stayed where I was. It was best for all of us. I wish this didn’t happen. I wish I could just disappear. Then do it. You’ve been gone this whole time. Go. You can’t go with her though, she’s no longer capable of anything, thanks to you. Fine. I’ll start out there on my own. My own boss.

Fine! The blue bag! Grab the bag. There’s money, cloths. Just to get us started, right? Sure. You can say that. The heavy breathing stopped. Thomas? Did he leave? He’s done, Savannah. Done. No. He can come too. Why won’t he move? Why won’t he look at me? Thomas? Wipe your eyes! It’s done!  

He hates you. Start over.